Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
