the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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