So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
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