She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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