we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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