Where is the hickey?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
