Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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