I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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