you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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