Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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