That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
