I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
