Dual....:-)
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
