I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
