Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
