Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
