And the cops told us we were all naked.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
These tits shall not be calmed
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
