drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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