My nipple is on Facebook.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
