Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I deserve this hangover.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
