ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
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Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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