Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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