she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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