I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
