i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
