So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You made out with two different species that night
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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