Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
