i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
