East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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