awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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