He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
