So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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