Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
ttyl tear gas
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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