This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Too much gin, very little bucket
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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