Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
