I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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