I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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