Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize