the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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