He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
