I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize