the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
