Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize