it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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