dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
