Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
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I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
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There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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