Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
