Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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