Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
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