it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
