Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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