HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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