Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You ruined the universe
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