exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
