just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
