just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
