oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
