JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You are a genius and a whore.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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